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User blog:Degrassi Forever/Destroying Juliet, Chapter Five
THIS IS NOT A FAN-FICTION. THIS IS A STORY I WORKED ON DURING MY SUMMER HOLIDAYS. Hockey Tryouts: The school was quiet and full of echoes, like a ghost town. It had a deserted feeling now all the thousand and more people had taken their noise and energy, ideas and emotions beyond the boundary and home for the night. I stood on the oval, looking across the green expanse feeling awkward and out of place again. The hockey tryouts were on and I had planned to get a place on the team. But now I wasn't so sure. When I saw Shae and her friends turn up I felt like leaving straight away. I was sick to my stomach. I didn't want to give anyone any more ammo to use against me. I crouched down to tie up my shoelaces and became aware of a body standing behind me. It was so close I could feel the heat from it. It wasn't touching me, but the owner of the body wanted me to know how easily they could have a knee in my back. "Trying out for the team?" the voice sneered and I turned to look. The sun was right behind her head, so her face was dark. But I knew by the way her hair sat perfectly that it was Hollie. "Yeah," I said and was embarassed to hear a waver in my voice. "Well, out team's really good. And Shae is the camptain. So if you know what's good for you, you might want to leave now" I looked past her shoulder to Shae, casual and confident, the only one in sports gear. Her friends were standing around her, there for moral support, shooting daggers my way. I did want to leave now. That was exactly what I was thinking. This was one scary chick and I was frightened. I'd never been in a punch-up before. At home we were taught to fight with words not fists, so I'd never found myself in a position where someone wanted to smack my head in. But I could see if I wasn't careful that was exactly what Hollie would do. Miss Fisher was blowing her whistle and getting everyone to line up. I joined the end of the line and stood slightly back from the others. There were about twenty girls and no-one even smile dmy way. On the other side of the oval the boys were lining up for footy practice. They were jogging on the spot, shaking out their arms and legs. I saw Mitch and Jeremy together, looking over. Mitch waved and I pretended not to look at him. "Anyone going for the position of captain come forward," Miss Fisher shouted. Shae didn't hesitate. She stepped uo, smiling like a winner. Her posse cheered. "Go Shae," they shouted. From the other side of the oval the boys were watching, maybe hoping for a face-off. No-one else stepped forward. The old me said, ''Go on Juliet, do it. ''But the frightened and intimidated me had control. There was absolutely no way I was taking Shae on. Miss Fisher blew her whistle. "Right, that makes Shae captain for the second year in a row. Well done. I expect you to lead us to victory." she said, clapping her on the shoulder. "Lets place the rest of the team." I was so nervous and nauseous, my heart wasn't in it. I love hockey, it's something I'm good at, but suddenly I didn't feel it any more. I was too frightened of them to play my game. I didn't want to tackle anyone for the ball, and I ran behind them uselessly, my hockey stick skimming over the blades of grass. If I was challenged for the ball I gave it up easily letting the opponenet sweep it quickly from me with a flick of their stick. After the tryouts we all had to fill in the team registration forms. Hollie handed them out to everyone but delberately ignored me and put the clipboard away, next to the teacher. I had to walk past Shae's group to get one for myself. The five of them were sprawled up against the stands like the owned the world. I watched them out the corner of my eye as I filled in my form on the wooden bench, the grain from the timber making my writing wobbly, Hollie and Shae sat up on the bench above, smiling down on their loyal subjects. Courtney was pretty, maybe even as pretty as Shae, but she lacked the same strength of confidence that Shae exuded - she had her legs crossed and feet turned under neatly, like she'd just graduated from deportment class. Lisa was louder than the others, her voice kept drawing my attention and Fiona, probably the plainest of them all, but still pretty, seemed to agree with everything Lisa said. I was observing all of this, matching names to faces, as I filled in my name, address, email and mobile, when Miss Fisher came up to me, twirling her whistle in her hands. "I thought we were going to have a new secret weapon this year," she said. "I heard you were captain at your last school." I just shrugged my shoulders and squinted against the sun. "Maybe the competition's not so tough in the country," Shae said under her breath as she walked past me in a cloud of Impulse. That night, as I lay in bed worrying aout what the next day would bring, I realised I never expected it to be this hard. When Mum finally convinced me of the benefits of moving I'd go along with her optimism. I thought she was right that there'd be wonderful opportunites, ones I wouldn't have if we stayed in the country. The idea of a real social life had been the decider. Kind of like what you saw on TV, like The O.C or even Gossip Girl, doing stuff the city kids did. Get a boyfriend, be the popular new girl, like the ones I read about in the books Dad called pup fiction as he'd throw a Bronte or Winton novel my way. I guess I always thought I'd fit in, even though I was nervous about it. But today had been horrible, unnerving; it was probably the worst day of my life. I'd felt so observed and assesed all day long. Shae and her friends had clearly decided I'd never belong to the A Group. And as much as Sukey and her friends had been nice to me, I knew I was commiting social suicide sitting with them. Guiltily I thought about Bogie James, back in Grace Point. Bogie (her real name is Marie) was a small, quiet girl we'd all grown up with. Most of us had been to kindy together and started school as a big group. She wasn't particularly smart, or stupid, she was just another kid in our class. But when we turned seven Bogie developed this really bad sinus problem, resulting in a constant snotty nose. She had tissues, the back of her hand, the hem of her t-shirt or sometimes she didn't even know they were there. No-one wanted to sit next to her or play with her in case she got boogers on them. It didn't take long for the nickname to stick. Bogie James. When she was eight, her mum took her to a specialist who fixed whatever was causing the problem. But it was too late for Bogie. She turned out quite pretty, in a Blake Lively kind of way, and in all the years after that I never saw her with even as much as a fleck in her nostril - she was meticulous about her nasal hygience - but she still got called Bogie James. We all called her that, including me. I know how these things work - a nickname sticks and so does a reputation. If I couldn't be accepted by Shae, or even by the next group down, I'd be destined to be a misfit, always. I didn't want that. Sukey's friends had been good to me but I didn't want to be one of them. Go to Chapter Six Category:Blog posts